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Love & War: Finding the Marriage You’ve Dreamed Of
Authors: John and Staci Eldredge
Broadway Books
222 pp.

Everything seems like it will be perfect on the wedding day ­ a man and a woman are completely in love with each other, and can’t imagine that things will ever be any different than they are today.  They are convinced that life with each other will be sixty years of bliss, and that their loves together will be an ideal picture of every love story they’ve ever heard.

When reality sets in, and the habits that were once “quirky” and “cute” become annoying and stale, when financial issues demand more time away from each other, and when children further complicate things, a growing realization that happiness is no longer the norm. In fact, its moments have become few and fleeting.  What then does a couple do to recapture that feeling?  How do they work through these things?

John and Stasi Eldredge founded the Ransomed Heart Ministries, designed to rebuild couples’ relationship to each other and to God. Readers may (or may not) be shocked to hear that their marriage almost ended ­ more than once.  The couple take turns writing about such topics as companionship, understanding the need to be both together and apart, sex, “taboo topics” ­ issues that must be dealt with even though one partner is unreceptive, and most importantly, the idea that we are at war.

The Eldredges focus on the Biblical principle that Christ calls the church his bride.  Since Satan will do everything he possibly can to create problems within that relationship, would he also do the same in relationships between husbands and wives?  Realizing this allows a freedom for married couples: rather than nitpicking each other, they can unite against a common enemy and work together.  Creating a common mission will reduce the effect that the small irritants have on each

Quite a bit of this book should be common sense to married couples, yet it isn’t.  When getting bogged down in the day to day responsibilities of life, we often forget the things we love about each other and focus on the negative.  The Eldredges offer a way out of this ­ based on loving God, setting rules, and always being conscious of the fact that Christians, and especially Christian couples, are at war.

Brian A. Smith

Love and War: Finding the Marriage You’ve Always Dreamed of is a breath of fresh air that every marriage could use. No matter if you are newly engaged/married or have been married for 50+ years this book is for you! You will start reading and not want to put it down until the last chapter is over and you have prayed the prayers at the back of the book!!!

I think that at one time or another we could all say that we have struggled in love, marriage and finding the happy balance of both.  Well in this book the authors; John and Stasi Eldredge;  approach marriage…its ups and downs…and share their real life stories throughout the entire book, you will be feeling quite relieved that you are not a lone in this struggle of “Love and War.”

You won’t even want to miss the Introduction in this book, there you will hear a beautiful marriage ceremony being officiated by John, and Stasi is in the audience and writes in her thoughts on what is really happening. They have, together, written this story in such a unique way, that you feel that you are right in the room experiencing the very things that are being discussed. They share such candid moments from their own marriage and many great insights that they have gained from the challenges they have faced.  They have been married for twenty-six years, and nearly gave up on their own marriage a few times. They share with us the story of how they fought back from the brink of divorce to a richer, deeper relationship. You will find your marriage written in every chapter of this book, and they will speak to your situation and give you valuable lessons from their own experiences.

Some of the great realizations you will find in this story are:

The bible begins and ends with a marriage.
God is telling a Love story and it is set in a War.
There is a great cost to Love, but it is worth every minuet.Marriage takes prayer, communication, and knowing the time to bring up certain topics.
You are not alone in the way you feel or react to certain things that you or your spouse does.
It can be done, and it is worth it!
If you know anyone who is married, about to be married or about to try to get a divorce this book is for them. All the topics covered in this book will speak to every situation imaginable, and help anyone to find their way back to love!! I recommend this book very highly, it has been a tremendous help and ministry to me and my marriage.

Trish Cooper



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