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Singleness: The Set-Apart Girl’s Guide to Purpose and Fulfillment
Author: Leslie Ludy
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
This is one of the best books that I have read on singleness, and this is written for young single women. It was easy, however, for me as a guy to apply the material to my own situation. Who doesn’t need to let God occupy first place in their lives? If guys follow this approach by not chasing after women and focus on becoming mature in Christ, they will become the kind of men that godly women are seeking.
This is not a how-to-find-someone type of book. It’s the opposite of taking matters into your own hands. You could summarize Leslie Ludy’s perspective in a favorite phrase of Oswald Chambers: Let God engineer. In her words, it is “trusting God to script our love story in His own perfect time, without manipulation on our part.” In a broader context, “This book is about laying down your life for Jesus Christ; surrendering every hope, dream, desire, and ambition to Him. Exchanging your agenda for His. Awakening to His glorious purpose for this sacred season of your life.”
Ludy acknowledges that this self-denying view of singleness is at odds with mainstream culture and even many Christians. She spends the second part of the book using Scripture to demolish “lies” that are floating around Christian circles. She says that “the majority of Christian single young women today are surrounded by messages that encourage them to follow their hearts, take matters into their own hands, and find themselves a husband as quickly as possible.” In marked contrast, she believes the best way to find a marriage partner is to stop hunting for one and instead focus your entire life around Jesus Christ and His priorities. She writes, “God has not called us to build our lives around the pursuit of our own selfish desires, but to be poured-out sacrifices for His kingdom.”
Ludy wants to help young women live full and satisfied lives now, but she is not discouraging women from holding on to the dream of marriage. As she says, most people are meant to be married. It’s a natural, God-given desire. Through her testimony and that of many others in this book, she makes it clear that it’s a mistake to let that desire control our lives and put off present opportunities to serve.
This no-nonsense approach is not only refreshing, but it has the potential to be life-changing and world-altering. The last section of the book provides a wealth of information on how singles can get involved and help change the world.
This is very much in the spirit of Elizabeth Elliot’s Passion and Purity, a classic on relationships. Ludy alludes to Elliott several times, and this is like a modern-day successor. The singular focus on becoming all that God wants us to be make this one of the best single books available. It’s a strong incentive to develop an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ as the best preparation for marriage.
“Prince Song” by the 2nd Chapter of Acts fits so well with the theme of this book. The song exudes the “first love” kind of relationship that Ludy continually advocates. If you are able to find the song, give it a listen, but here are the lyrics:
I got a brand new story
though you have heard it a time of two,
Hey this story ain’t no
tale to me now,
You know what I mean.
My sleep is over. I’ve
been touched by His fire,
I’ll be forever with Him
right by my side.
You know what I mean.
The song describes the true Prince of many a girl’s dreams. This is the One that Ludy rightly directs young women to have as the object of their supreme love and devotion.