Surrender All: Rebuilding A Marriage Broken by Pornography
Authors: Clay & Renee
Crosse with Mark Tabb
Singer Clay Crosse first
saw pornography in the fourth grade. He was at a friendís house when they
found a collection of magazines. A few years later, another friend showed
him a movie. By the time he was in high school, he had a small stash of
magazines hidden in his room. Clay knew that looking at this material was
wrong, but he never thought about how dangerous it might be.
Even after he and his future
wife made a commitment to purity, he was able to rationalize his involvement
with pornography. As long as he and Renee were not having sex, he thought
he was okay.
Once he married, he assumed
that his battle was over. Being a fan of movies, Clay though little about
the content of the films that he watched. It made it easier to once again
watch pornographic videos at the height of his music success in 1996. This
began a two-year descent that would affect him physically, jeopardizing
his marriage and career.
This coupleís journey to
restoration is told clearly and concisely in their own words. Itís honest
without any lurid details. Through Reneeís account we see the heartbreak
and turmoil that family members can experience.
This story serves as a warning
to all that will take it to heart. There is a common progression with predictable
and devastating results. This book could help others turn their lives around.
How could someone so popular
in Christian music justify this kind of behavior? Clay and Renee admit
that their relationship with God was shallow. Once Clay made it big, they
became enamored with all of the pleasures that they could enjoy. Looking
back they realize that they were living for themselves.
The foundation for the rebuilding
that took place in their marriage was a new commitment to serve the Lord.
Their path to wholeness is practical without being legalistic, providing
hope for those who struggle with this in their own lives.
Life is better for them
now. Clay continues to perform concerts nationwide, and he and Renee speak
at various marriage enrichment conferences. Clay serves as worship pastor
and Renee is involved in the leadership of womenís ministries at The Love
of Christ Church in Memphis, pastored by Dana Key of Degarmo & Key
Itís hard not to be challenged
about purity when you read this book. Itís a reminder that we must continually
"Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to
gratify its desire" (Romans 13:14 ESV).
Clay and Renee have established
HolyHomes Ministries to challenge Christian families to live godly lives.
Their thought is that Christian homes should function in a different way
than non-Christian homes. They should function in a better way, with more
love and caring, and be less destructive and hurtful.
February 18, 2006